Summary: What might have happened after we left the other SG-1 in Ancient Egypt
"Why is it every Jack I meet is an ass to some degree?" Daniel asked the room - OK, the tent - as he came striding in, depositing sand on the rugs. He marched right up to Jack and got in his face. Daniel was glaring. He smelled of several hours labouring under a hot sun in way too many clothes. What was with all that cloth anyway? Didn't he want to take off some of those layers? He looked like a pile of dirty laundry, you couldn't even see the shape of his body, and he must be too hot in those things.
"You are such a jerk in any universe."
"Excuse me?" Jack was almost certain he hadn't said any of his thoughts out loud so the insults were damned unfair.
Daniel eyed Jack for an uncomfortable few seconds until Jack squirmed.
"I'm not sure I will. You told Sam I was gay."
Oh. Ah. OK. Events from weeks ago were returning to bite him in the ass. Carter was a snitch and Daniel was pissed and maybe Jack could understand why. And Teal'c? Well, maybe he was outside, cracking his knuckles, ready to defend Daniel's honor. Daniel and Teal'c had bonded. Jeez. Denial would be good about now. Jack was good at denial, he'd practically turned it into an Olympic sport, though a part of him was thinking maybe Carter ratting him out and getting Daniel all riled up at him was better than being ignored by Doctor 'I'm so busy and you're not the real deal' Jackson. He hated being ignored, more than he hated those stupid robes but not as much as he hated Daniel looking at him and wishing he was that other Jack. That sucked most of all.
"No I didn't say that."
"Then why did she speak to me fifteen minutes ago about your little conversation? Apparently, she told you she finds me attractive-"
"She told me she lied."
"-and you said you thought I was...and then you flipped your hand over and back and she got the impression you were saying I was gay."
"She did? Well I didn't actually say anything. Anyway, what's the big deal if you are or not." Jack congratulated himself on a good comeback.
It didn't even make Daniel pause. Damn him.
"I resent you implying I am just so you can have Sam give up on any interest in me and switch her attention on you."
"That was not... OK, so maybe I thought she would back off from you if she thought you were a lost cause." Jack bristled a little, trying not to. Possessive Alpha Male could go either way and sometimes the voice went a little too up. "Are you saying you're interested in her? Attracted?" Ack! See, there was the voice going up on the last syllables and totally ruining the Alpha thing. It never seemed to happen to Teal'c, who, by the way, as a former slave to a false god was far too eager to play Watson to Daniel's Holmes in Jack's opinion.
"No. As it happens I like men and women but she's not my type. Don't use my sexuality to get Sam interested in you."
Daniel swung round and left the tent.
Jack's lower jaw snapped back into the upright position.
"You like men?"
"Let's talk and get to know each other. I don't know you, you don't know me. Tell me about yourself," Jack invited.
Daniel looked up from his papyrus with knowing eyes. "You want to know about my liking men."
"Yes. No. Yes. I mean, it's part of getting to know you. So when?"
"That's none of your business."
"That's not friendly."
"That's too bad. It's nothing to do with you."
"Fine. Be like that. Be unfriendly to the guy who came back because you and your friends messed up the future."
"It's none of your business because it has nothing to do with you, it's to do with the other Jack. My Jack."
Daniel tossed the papyrus aside and stomped out of the tent.
"Hey, how's it goin'?"
Daniel groaned. Jack wanted to throw something at him.
"Yeah, can see that. Thing is, you're always busy when I'm around. Interesting fact - you're not busy when Teal'c or Carter drop by. Now, Carter I figure you have this Geek Flocking Together thing going on. That's good. But Teal'c...he seems...drawn to you. He won't leave you alone, he's always hanging around you and I think he might be kinda..." Jack hand was mid flip-flop when Daniel's glare stopped him dead. Ouch.
There was Daniel groaning again.
"I do not believe I'm hearing this. Are you asking if Teal'c and I are having an affair? That all those times he's in this tent looking over plans and talking about ways to make things easier for ourselves and these people without screwing up the future, you think we're having wild, crazy sex?"
OK. He so didn't need those images right now. Dammit, why did Egypt have to be so freakin' hot! How could Daniel stand it wearing those clothes?
"I'm just... Look. Give me something here, Daniel. I'm trying to understand. Help me out."
Now Daniel was frowning at him. This could be good or bad. Now he was rummaging around inside a battered pack with USAF stamped on it. Now he was tossing something to him. What the -!
"Standard issue courtesy of the United States Air Force and Stargate Command. We didn't need them. Don't use them all at once."
Daniel marched out of the tent, a man with a purpose and apparently a stash of condoms.
"You're giving me condoms?"
"Did you...? With the other me?"
"It wasn't you and I seem to recall this being none of your business."
"It is, kind of. I mean, it's a version of me. So I'm gay? The other me, I mean."
"I have no idea."
"He didn't say anything? Make a move? Test the waters to see if the idea would float with you?"
"Shouldn't you be discussing sex and relationships with Sam?"
"Carter and I decided it would be better to be just friends."
"Not much of a kiss huh?"
"Hey! It was a great kiss! There was sparkage!"
Jack's voice didn't really sound as whiny as it did in his own ears, he was sure.
"So what, you ran out of condoms already?"
How Daniel had managed to go through life with the other Jack without being spanked, kissed, both at once or dumped on the nearest hostile planet, Jack didn't know. Either Daniel had invaluable skills, a hidden sweetness or one hell of an ass under those stupid way too baggy robes.
"We didn't...do that. We kissed. Sparks flew!"
Jack grimaced as Lady Honesty bit him - the bitch. "Actually, the sparks were because the ship was going to explode and kill us - but it was a great kiss! Several great kisses!"
Daniel scratched his chin then bent his head over the ever-present papyrus. "If you say so."
"I'm just saying. Letting you know the situation. There's nothing between us – Carter and me. At all. She's single, I'm single, we're both single and unattached to each other - or anyone else - so if someone was interested..."
Daniel yawned. "Excuse me. I have a post-rebellion society to guide."
That was not a pout on Jack's lips. Manly men like Jack didn't pout. He was almost certain that it was, in fact, a mucho macho scowl that would make even Teal'c cower. Daniel would have been intimidated by it if he had any decency. Maybe he was trembling with fear under all those dumb, freakin', way-too-hot robes.
Not that the robes were hot. They created heat. Daniel himself was hot. Because of the heat. And the robes trapped the heat. Because they were -
"OK. I'm just trying to be helpful here."
And his voice wasn't whiny, either.
"If you want to be of help you can leave the condoms with me. Just in case."
Daniel gathered up the scrolls and left the tent. There was a suggestion of a smirk about him. No mouth was needed. The back of his head was smirking. His ass was smirking.
Son of a bitch. Jack was losing it. Too much sun and sand was rotting his brain. He didn't know who the hell he was anymore and worse, he wasn't sure he cared so long as Daniel was there to drive him even more nuts, which was weird.
"In case of what?"
"Have you thought about -?"
"You don't even know what I'm going to say."
"It will involve sex." Daniel didn't bother to raise his head but his eyes swept up so he appeared to be gazing up through his eyelashes and the strands of hair falling over his forehead in a messy clump. Daniel needed a haircut. Eventually.
"Maybe. Sex might be part of what I was going to say, among other deeper issues."
"For a man not having sex you're thinking about it an awful lot."
"Maybe that's why I'm thinking about it."
"So it has nothing to do with you suddenly realizing that you're attracted to me."
Daniel turned to leave the tent.
"Will you stop doing that!" Jack reached out swiftly and grabbed Daniel's arm, tightening his grip when Daniel tugged to test his hold. "OK, stay. Right there. Stay. Who says I'm attracted to you?"
Daniel looked down at Jack's groin in a pointed fashion. "He does."
OK. Maybe Jack should have taken Daniel's advice and worn robes.
Daniel's gaze lifted and he stared directly into Jack's eyes "Your eyes tell me. You're just like my Jack. He used to send out signals and didn't do anything about it. You're both so similar in a lot of ways."
OK, there was a definite ache in that voice right there. The other Jack had clearly been an idiot.
"Really? So if I was to kiss you right now?"
"I saw the way you kissed Sam. If anything was designed to send me running it would be that. When you've had a bit more practice, we'll talk."
Jack tugged Daniel closer then pulled him up against his body. Oh, nice. Too much robe hiding the good stuff but that could be fixed. "How about I get some practice now? You could help."
Daniel's look was speculative - and was that a challenge in those eyes and, god, those eyes were amazing and the other Jack must have been a moron to see it and not do anything about it.
"I'm busy. I have a tomb to explore."
"If it's exploration you're after I can think of something more fun." Jack emphasized his words with a slow grind of his groin against Daniel.
"You're not my Jack."
Maybe Jack should take the damn gateship and kill the other Jack in the future just to get rid of the dumb son of a bitch?
"No, he wasn't your Jack. He never even kissed you." His fingers slid up into thick hair, cradling Daniel's head while his other hand stroked round over dusty robes to plant itself in a possessive manner over the curve of Daniel's ass. It felt good. It would feel even better without the cloth. The robes just had to go. Jack leaned in nice and slow, savouring the anticipation, the feel of Daniel's quick shallow breaths across his face, then bingo, he was kissing him long and deep. One abrupt firm pull brought Daniel in tight against his body. "I'm not that Jack. He was an idiot. You're here, with me, with this Jack and I can be your Jack."
Daniel looked gratifyingly dazed. Jack wondered if the dopey smile on his face was half as sexy as the one Daniel was wearing but suspected not.
"What about Sam?" Daniel murmured as roaming hands tore at his robes in a determined fashion and got a lot more intimate as more flesh was revealed.
Jack's eyes narrowed. He tugged Daniel closer and his voice was Possessive Alpha Male, he was certain this time: "She can't have you. You're gay, remember. I said so." Meeting with no argument, Jack began to strip the ever-annoying and far too concealing robes from his Daniel.
The last loose thread slipped into place and all was right with time and the fabric of the universe once more.