Summary: Another Six Views through the Quantum Mirror
For the last two years I have written six drabbles for Valentines Day, written as six different aspects of the relationship between Sam/Janet, glimpses through the quantum mirror. I thought it was time to take another peek.
Another year without you. Life goes on they say. I got promoted. Saved the world again. Anubis gone. Replicators gone. And Daniel. maybe. Even. we talked briefly. She missed you as well. She envied me. All she had were my memories. We agreed it was painful. If there was a way. in a heartbeat. Damn the consequences. To hold you in my arms again. If Fifth had shown me you instead of Pete I would not have fought so hard. I trace your name on your stone, leave a rose. No message. No words. None needed. In memory of you.
Our truth, our new reality. You can do most things for yourself. Our new mantra. Not disabled, just differently abled. You amaze me. Sometimes. do you let me help because you know I want to feel useful? Because I still feel guilty. Today the routine changes. You make me breakfast in bed. Okay so it's more of a picnic. You could not manage a tray but a small back pack full of goodies and a vacuum flask of coffee you can handle. So resourceful. so romantic. Roses entwined in your hair. You smile, pull me closer for a Valentine's kiss.
She's wearing his ring tonight. She doesn't at work so its easier to forget, to ignore. He's with her, touching her, his hand on her arm, on her back. As if the ring isn't enough. I try not to stare but he knows... Cop-senses I suppose. No, we're never going to be friends. He stands between us in all senses, steers you past me without you noticing I'm there. My date reminds me she's here. I smile, kiss her, keep her happy. No regrets I said. For the best. Never have worked. But he knows it too. Second best won.
Adrenaline drives her. Speed enthrals her. But I like to take it slow. But then I also like to do it in unusual places. The dichotomy unbalances her, crashes all her mental gears. She is more conventional than me, not prudish. just shy. It's sweet. She blushes so easily sometimes. I like to keep her off balance out of control. I like to be in control. And she is so very good at following orders. Don't get the wrong idea. I don't dominate. She doesn't submit. There are no roles no archetypes. We feel. We act. We love. No limits.
I wash your back, my sudsy hands smoothing over your skin, the warm water cascading over both of us. You turn and my hands are suddenly on your breasts. You raise your head, eyes closed, dark hair clinging to your skull. I accept the unspoken invitation, kiss you. You press yourself against me, flesh wet warm slick. Your arms around me your head pillowed for a moment on my breast. My fingers track down your spine as I slide down your body, pressing my face to your belly, the dark arrow of hair pointing the way to my personal paradise.
Twinkle twinkle. I know what you are, my love. I never saw you but you were there all the time filling up the silences, the spaces, encoded in the rhythm of a child's song. Ascendant in my heart. Every moment I was gone I would have been in your thoughts, I know. If I had stopped to think I would have figured it out in a heartbeat. There's no place like home. There's no one like you. My evening star. You're there when I wake, your dark eyes shining as you check my reactions. I am safe. With you. Home.