A Dream Can Come True 29

Cowboys And Indians

by Celievamp

URL: http://area52hkh.net/asc/celievamp1/adream29.php
Summary: They did the right thing

'So... where did we go?'

Sam sat down, pulled her lover down to sit beside her. 'I have no idea. I don't remember what happened between being 'disappeared' and then reappearing in the Gateroom.'

They had by common consent gone up onto the mountain side to get some air and hopefully some perspective on what had just happened. Janet sat on a handy flat-topped boulder, wrapping her jacket more closely around her, budging up a little so that Sam could sit beside her. 'We did the right thing, that's the main thing,' Janet said.

'The Colonel made sure we did the right thing,' Sam said. 'Tonane and his people will continue to be protected.'

'And we have a new set of allies,' Janet said. 'They are a fascinating people.'

'Indeed,' Sam said impishly, echoing one of Teal'c's favorite sayings. Janet grinned, nudging her. Sam nudged her back.

It had been an eventful few days. Sam had learned a few things about herself, about the military that she worked for and the government that she answered to - some of which she was not entirely comfortable with. One thing she had no doubt about was the absolute honesty of her commanding officer. However difficult the situation, how unusual his answer to it, she would never doubt that he believed with all his heart and soul that he was doing the right thing.

'So, as your first command – how did it feel?'

'Scary. I don't know if I'm ready for that yet to be honest. One day, for definite but...'

'You want a few more years sitting at the feet of the master, huh,' Janet smiled. She knew Jack O'Neill well enough to know that he would be horrified that anyone considered him a role model, least of all his bright and brilliant II1C.

'At the moment I can think of a lot worse people I could be using as an exemplar. It just proved to me that we haven't learnt much from our own history never mind our experience out there. We were ready to lie to these people, to cheat them, to despoil their beautiful land for the sake of the trinium. Yes, it's important to us, but...' She sighed. Janet just waited for her to process what she was trying to say. 'It would make us little better than the Goa'uld. Part of me is surprised that no one actually proposed using the natives on PXY-887 as some sort of slave labor force and part of me is afraid that it would just have been a matter of time before someone came up with that idea in the name of cost-effectiveness.' She stared into the distance, seeing a different mountainside. 'We did the right thing.'

'And I told you not to go off playing Cowboys and Indians,' Janet smirked, remembering her whispered comment at Sam's pre-mission check.

'And I told you I had the gear, the hat, the gunbelt the six- shooter, everything,' Sam grinned.

'That must have been something to see,' Janet said, almost wistfully. She could picture Sam in the Stetson, white of course, the shirt, the soft leathers, the gunbelt snug around her slim hips, her long legs encased in boots, spurs chiming at her heels. It was a thought to warm the coldest loneliest night.

Sam glanced up to see Janet's intent yet faraway gaze and knew what she would be wearing to the next costume party they went to if a certain Air Force medic had any say in the matter.

'Something's still bothering you, isn't it?' Janet said, reading her partner with her usual ease.

'I had a 'failure of imagination' again. It was like when we were stuck in the Antarctic and I couldn't think beyond dialing Earth's address over and over again,' Sam said. 'Tonane asked us to participate in a ceremony to call the spirits. This was before we knew they were aliens. T'akaya came in the form of a wolf. Tonane asked me to speak to it... and I couldn't do it. I couldn't get beyond what I could see...'

'You're a deeply rational person, Love. And to be honest that kind of thing is what you have Daniel for. You all play to your strengths.'

'Tonane told me 'You can't see the wind either... but you know it's there. You can hear it. You can feel it. You can see its effects on the trees...' But I couldn't do it. I couldn't take that step.' Sam frowned, shook her head. 'I couldn't see past the physicality of the wolf. As I said, a failure of imagination. I failed. I was so annoyed with myself that I could not get into the right frame of mind to appreciate where Tonane and his people were coming from with regard to their spirit world. I was in command for crying...' She stared at her boots, scuffing up the tufts of grass.

'Do you really think that Jack O'Neill would have handled things any differently?' Janet asked. 'He would have just thrown Daniel into the breach. At least you tried, Sam. And if you failed – which I don't think you necessarily did - you understand that the failure was down to you. Not everyone would see it that way. They would be only too quick to blame it on the 'primitive natives'. No way that the great American military machine could be wrong.' She snorted derisively. 'I saw it time and time again in Africa, Sam. The inflexibility, the unwillingness to contemplate that another point of view might actually exist. Sam, you tried. That speaks a lot to your character.'

'I suppose,' Sam leant her head against Janet's arm. 'I just wanted to bring our people home again without doing any harm to the Salish, guardian spirits notwithstanding. I tried, I really did. But all I saw was the wolf and then the raven. And then T'akaya walked into the mist and a few seconds came back with SG11 behind him. And then I had to believe. Tonane just smiled at me and asked how it felt to see the wind.'

'And how did it feel, Sam?' Janet asked.

Sam was silent for a moment. 'Humbling,' she whispered.

'There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in our philosophy,' Janet softly quoted Hamlet.

'And I should know that more than most,' Sam said. Janet had done it again, unfailingly turned her critical self analysis into something positive and affirming. It struck her that Janet Fraiser was her own guardian spirit in a way, if she could carry just a little of her calmness, her beauty, her love before her in her everyday life then she would be protected indeed.

'You do. It's a bit of a conundrum, isn't it – does acknowledging your failure mean that you really failed?'

'That's just too obscure after the kind of day we've had,' Sam sighed. 'I can hardly believe I'm asking this – is it time to go home yet?'

'I don't think anyone will mind too much if we sneak out ten minutes early,' Janet said. She smiled. 'There's a costume shop in the mall – want to check if they've got a cowboy outfit?'