Summary: Janet worries about Sam while things apparently worsen for SG-1
Janet Fraiser paced back and forth between her desk and the door of her office. She felt completely useless and incredibly frustrated.
Samantha Carter was in the clutches of the Goa'uld queen, Hathor, along with the other human members of SG-1. All they knew for sure was that they, SG-1, were trapped in a mock-up of the SGC and had been for over two weeks.
Janet worried about all the members of SG-1. They, of all the SG teams, were closest to her because of the relationship they all had with her adopted daughter, Cassandra. But, over the last six months, Janet and Sam had both become more than friends, more than co-mothers for Cassie. They had passed from best friends to lovers to life partners.
And Janet had been feeling like a piece of her was ripped away and lost across the galaxy. The worst aspect was that she could do absolutely nothing but fret and worry.
She stopped near the door and slammed her fist against the wall. Tears of frustration and fear filled her eyes, compounded by the sudden burst of pain in her hand.
Janet's heart leaped into her throat as the phone on her desk rang. She crossed to her desk and picked up the receiver, holding it like it was red hot. She was almost afraid to hear whatever the caller had to tell her.
"Med Center, Fraiser here," she said.
"Doctor Fraiser, this is General Hammond. I wanted to tell you that I'm going ahead with the plan I outlined with you earlier. I need your staff to stand by for possible casualties."
Earlier in the day, when Colonel Makepeace passed on intel from the Tok'ra, Hammond briefed Janet on his plan to send several SG teams through the Stargate to try to liberate SG-1. He had recklessly told her he was going through the Gate with the team, but he had been persuaded by the Command Staff of the complex that the potential intelligence disaster precluded his presence on the mission.
Apparently the time for the teams' departure had arrived.
"Yessir, I understand. Tell the teams good luck from us," Janet said.
"Thank you, Doctor, I will relay your message," Hammond said. "Don't worry, Doctor, we will bring Captain Carter and the rest back."
Hammond hung up, leaving Janet wondering at his last statement. Was he referring to Sam for Cass' sake, or did he suspect the necessarily secret realtionship between she and Sam? It really didn't matter the reason, she did feel better for the general's words.
Janet couldn't shake the feeling that Sam was alive. Somehow, Janet knew that if Sam had died, she would know. But she also could feel that her love was in extreme danger.
The young doctor sat at her desk and buried her face in her arms as soft sobs shook her body.
* * * * * *
Several months earlier...
The two women lay in each others arms, their naked flesh pressed gently together. They were both sweaty after another joyous love-making session.
As they lay together, they continually gently touched and kissed each other. Whispered murmurs passed between them as they, again, lost themselves in each other's eyes.
Sam smiled happily at Janet, "You are so wonderful. You make me glad I'm alive. I don't think I've felt so warm and loved since..." Her eyes looked away as tears filled them.
"Your mother? Oh, Sam. I know wherever she is, she's looking down on you. She must be very proud of you." Janet kissed Sam's eyelids and held the young woman, Sam's cheek resting on the swell of Janet's breast.
With a deep breath, Sam said, "I think she'd be happy for me too. Happy that I finally found happiness."
Janet kissed the tousled blond hair and hugged her friend and lover. "Janet," Sam whispered. "I, well, I'm not good at this kind of thing."
Feeling a little thrill of alarm, Janet asked, "What is it, Hon?" 'Please don't let this end,' she pleaded in her mind. 'Let this be the relationship Sam can't walk away from.'
Sam moved up and looked deep into Janet's eyes, "I love you, Janet Fraiser."
Those few words caused Janet's heart to skip a beat. She felt light-headed and short of breath. She could only stare at the beautiful woman in her arms for a moment. There had been some mention of falling in love during their first night, but Janet never dared to hope it was anything more than the thrill of the moment. Now she felt like a teenager again, giddy and excited and a little scared.
Finally, talking through a suddenly dry mouth, she replied, "And I love you. With all my heart and soul."
They kissed, a long, slow, loving kiss. The kiss was the most wonderful Janet had ever experienced. She knew at that moment that they belonged together. Nothing could tear them apart.
* * * * * *
"Nothing..." the doctor muttered into the sleeve of her lab coat. Looking up, she did something she hadn't done for years, she prayed.
"Oh God, please don't let anything happen to her. I love her! I love her so much! Please bring her back to me safely." Janet felt warm tears trickle down her cheeks as she pleaded for her love with God.
"Maybe our relationship isn't right to a lot of people...I don't know if it's right to You...But we love each other. What can be wrong with that? Just please bring her back. I'll gladly sacrifice myself for her. Anything God. Please?"
She sat back, feeling absolutely miserable. A few months ago, she would have been worried, even scared, but for a friend. Now she was horrified that she might never see this special woman again.
Glancing at the picture of Cassie standing in front and between she and Sam, Janet remembered that day...
* * * * * *
"Sa-am! Come on!" Cassie whined.
"Hey, short-stuff, don't whine! It's not lady-like," Sam responded over her shoulder as she set up the little 35mm camera on the fence post. Checking the scene in the viewfinder, she nodded and set the auto timer. She had plenty of time to get back into the shot.
"Everybody smile," she said as she stepped back alongside Janet. She placed her right hand on Cassie's shoulder and had her left arm around Janet's waist. Janet's left hand was on Cass' other shoulder and she had her right arm snaked around Sam's back.
Sam, who had to be doing a mental countdown, said, "Cheese!" as she pinched Janet's ass and the flash on the camera fired.
* * * * * *
Janet gazed at the picture with her smile just beginning to turn into a surprised "O" from Sam's pinch. Janet unknowingly smiled as she recalled her "revenge" later that night when they had gone to bed.
The phone next to her rang, startling Janet. "Fraiser here."
"Doctor, this is General Hammond. I wanted to let you know that Colonel Makepeace and his men have just penetrated the Goa'uld complex. We should have definitive word on SG-1 shortly." Hammond's voice had a trace of a Texas twang, an sure sign of his concern. "So far, there are no casualties."
"Thank you, General. That's good news," Janet responded. "We are ready here."
"I know you are, Doctor." Hammond paused and added, "We'll bring her back. I promise."
Janet held the receiver to her ear but said nothing. 'He knows about us!' But immediately on the heels of that thought came another, "He's telling me he doesn't mind.'
"Uh, yessir. I'm here, General."
"Okay, stand by. I'll let you know as soon as I hear from Makepeace again."
Hearing the click as Hammond hung up, Janet stood there stunned. 'How long has he known? How did he find out?'
She knew she could never ask. The policy was "Don't ask, don't tell" after all.
She stepped out into the main room and found her team looking at her. Standing a little straighter, she spoke with a conviction she really didn't feel, "Okay, people. The SG teams are penetrating the complex. So far there are no casualties but, with the Goa'uld I wouldn't count on that continuing. All we can do is wait. And pray."
'God, please bring her back. Please?' Janet prayed as she returned to her office and closed the door. Leaning against it, she whispered, "Oh God, Sam. I love you so much."