Summary: Sam and Janet finally come to terms with the effects of Sam's rape and torture at Hathor's hands
The secret invasion was over. They abandoned their attempted beachhead within the SGC, many of the invaders escaping back through the Stargate. Those that couldn't make it committed a form of seppeku by blowing themselves up in the Gateroom or dying in other parts of the complex.
Sam was the prime mover behind their defeat but she was more than willing to give credit to Colonel Maybourne, their seemingly eternal nemesis from the NID.
The only thing that worried her was the fact that the alien invaders seemed to know everything about the humans they were impersonating. What if they also had telepathic links? Would information be received by the humans in the large webprison? If so, who else now knew that Sam and Janet had once been lovers?
As time went by and the SGC returned to normal, Sam came to realize that no one seemed to suspect the truth of what she and Janet had shared.
Meanwhile, she was busy trying to get an armored MALP to survive after passing through the wormhole to the planet the invaders came from. So far, they had lost three and General Hammond was questioning the need to waste MALPs in this way.
Janet had her hands full trying to learn as much as she could from the remains of the webprison and the nearly atomized remains of the alien troops that committed suicide in the SGC. Unfortunately, she wasn't having much luck either.
During this time, Janet experienced one of the sweetest dreams while sleeping in her on-base quarters. She was in a large ballroom and the lights were low. Music was playing in the background but, though she was certain that she knew the song, she couldn't quite make it out.
As she walked into the middle of the room, she felt the silk of her jade-green gown brush against her legs. In the low light, she saw someone in a white gown come towards her from the other side of the room.
Janet smiled as she saw Sam looking exceptionally lovely in the long dress.
They met in the center of the room. Without words, Janet held out her arms and Sam stepped into her embrace. They held each other gently and began to move to the music, their bodies molded together.
As they began to move across the floor, Janet recognized the song. It was an old Jefferson Starship number called "Miracles." She smiled at the miracle in her arms as the music flowed around them.
The dance went on and on. The song segued into "Avalon" by Roxy Music and the pair continued to dance, holding each other close. As Brian Ferry crooned, Janet tilted her face up and looked into Sam's eyes to see the other woman's love shining like a light down at her.
They kissed. It was a sweet kiss, lips only, that signaled the love each had for the other. As their lips parted and Sam stepped away, Janet reached out for her love. Sam looked at her and mouthed the word "Soon" as she faded into the dimness.
Janet woke up in her bed feeling strangely elated by the dream. She was humming as she prepared to meet the demands of the day.
After getting showered and dressed, she went to the cafeteria for some coffee. She saw Sam by the large, silver urn. "Good morning!" the doctor said brightly. "Sleep well?"
"Good morning, Janet. Yes I did. Quite well," Sam smiled. "Care to join me?"
"Sure, for a few minutes. SG-3 returns in about an hour but I'm free for now," Janet replied.
As the two friends walked towards an empty table, Janet smiled when she heard Sam humming "Miracles."
'Jacob was right,' the petite brunette thought as she sat down across from the other woman.
* * * * * *
Within a week, a new planet was found and SG-1 prepared to survey the planet. Sam was excited, the place looked like a tropical paradise. Daniel was less than thrilled, there was no apparent signs of intelligent life or, more importantly, ruins. Jack was sarcastically commenting on the joys of doing another mineral survey and Teal'c was his usual stoic self.
The strangeness started as soon as SG-1 entered the vortex. They stepped back into the Gateroom immediately; Jack was even finishing the statement he began as they entered.
To SG-1, no time had passed and they had no idea why they were back. They had no explanation as to why hours had passed between their entry to the wormhole and their exit.
As the strange incident was being thoroughly investigated, Sam discovered that the images sent back by the MALPs of a tropical beach had been faked. Shortly after that, microscopic devices were found in the frontal lobes of all four team members.
Before long, the members of SG-1 were being bothered by a presence that no one else in the SGC could detect. Janet determined from the various descriptions that this presence that called itself Urgo looked like either an Italian tenor or one of Sam's uncles. And it was here to experience as much human culture as possible.
Feeling increasingly frustrated by the fact that she could do nothing for the team, Janet became short-tempered with her staff. She didn't even realize it until Hannah came into her office.
"Yes, Hannah? What is it? I'm kinda busy," Janet replied.
Stepping into the office, Hannah hesitated before speaking. "Doctor, the, uh, the staff has noticed that you're a little on edge..."
Janet looked up questioningly, "On edge? What do you mean?"
"Well, like jumping down that airman's throat because she didn't notify you right away when the report came in from the CDC. And you were all over Jenny about the proper sequence surgical tools should be in on the tray... It's just not like you, Doctor."
Surprise turned to pain on Janet's face as she began to recall these and other events. "Oh God. You're right, Hannah. It's just this whole Urgo thing has me... When he, it, whatever said something to me in the hall..."
Hannah looked at her superior worriedly. "No, Hannah, I'm not seeing this thing now. Sam just said he was being rude and... Never mind. Can you call the staff together? I think I owe everyone an apology."
What she didn't mention was the effect the ongoing situation between she and Sam was doing to her. The continued estrangement was even more upsetting than before.
In the meantime, Sam was having to deal with Urgo in a more personal way.
"Urgo, it's not right to invade people's privacy like this! Not everything we do has to involve you!"
How 'bout I turn my back? the plump little man asked as his image turned around to face away from Sam.
"Damn it, Urgo! I need privacy in the bathroom! Just get out of here!" Sam demanded.
Ooo! You're almost as bad as Jack! Urgo pouted then disappeared.
Sam was so frustrated by Urgo and it's insatiable curiousity but she had no one to talk to. None of the SGC would understand; hell, half of them thought SG-1 had finally gone through the Gate one time too many.
When she mentioned to her teammates Urgo appearing whenever she was in the shower, changing, using the bathroom, or anywhere that she might be physically exposed, Daniel blushed, Jack gave her a sophmoric smirk, and Teal'c was just Teal'c.
Sam considered talking to Janet but, though she'd never admit this to the doctor, she was still feeling painfully shy about anything remotely sexual in nature around her friend. Sex, especially with Janet, had been perverted into something filthy and degrading for Sam.
Maybe you should see someone? Urgo suggested.
"And maybe you should mind your own business, Urgo!" Sam snapped.
Oh! You don't have to yell at me, Urgo said in a sad voice. I only wanted to help.
"Thank you, Urgo, but I have to work this out on my own..."
Maybe that cute doctor could help...Oooh! You and she? I didn't think that your people...You can't, can you? Not in public? What a backwards attitude you people have, Urgo pronounced.
"Yes, it is," Sam said more to herself than the mental image in front of her.
You know, that Hathor woman seems to be really nasty!
She made you give up that cutey? Urgo asked.
"I 'gave up that cutey' because I betrayed... Oh, never mind, Urgo! It's personal, just like everything else you want to know about," Sam said.
I think the doctor still wants you, Sammy. Maybe she can help? Urgo said. Anyway, I can tell you still love her. And your people are always saying love heals all wounds...
"You seem to know a lot about humans and what we say considering you supposedly have never been here before," Sam interrupted the apparition.
Well, Jack likes to watch TV a lot when he's bored. I don't think he really pays much attention to it but I have been. He seems to really like to watch tapes of people like you and the doctor...
"What!?! No, on second thought, don't tell me, Urgo," Sam said quickly after interrupting the little man. "Uh, Urgo? Can you tell me something?"
Sure, Samantha, anything. I want to share information, Urgo replied.
"You haven't said anything to Jack or Daniel or Teal'c about Janet and...you haven't, have you? Oh please say you haven't..."
No I haven't said anything. I didn't know it was such a secret though.
"Urgo, we could be forced out of the service if it came out. Do you understand? Do me a favor and pretend you never learned about Janet. Please?" Sam pleaded.
Okay, Sammy. Your secret is safe with me. But I stil think you should talk to her...
"Urgo, please... Enough already."
* * * * * *
Over the next several days, Urgo was a constant companion to the members of SG-1. His presence alternately amusing and irritating. Finally, the decision was made to return to the figure's homeworld and have the programmers remove him. (SG-1 had taken to considering Urgo a him as opposed to an it by this time.)
Urgo also was true to his word and never mentioned Sam and Janet's previous love affair, not even to Sam.
After Urgo had been returned to his planet of origin and SG-1 ungraciously hustled back to Earth, Sam accompanied Janet and Cassie to a cozy cabin in the hills near a large lake. The women both had extended leaves and Cassie was out of school for the summer. They planned to take advantage of this time and relax.
On a lazy summer evening, Sam joined Janet on the porch swing. They sat quietly for several minutes and watched the sun sink behind the mountains across the lake. The warmth of the day was lingering and they were both comfortable in shorts and light shirts.
"Where's Cassie?" Sam finally asked.
Janet stretched and said, "Down the lake a little way.
She met some kids her age and they went to the arcade near the spillway."
"Uh-huh," Sam replied.
After a few more calm minutes, Janet turned to Sam and asked, "What did Urgo say?" Sam looked at Janet blankly. "You know...when you met the general and I in the corridor? You said he was rude?"
"Oh! That...it was nothing." Sam shook her head, smiling. Now that the incident was in the past, she found a great deal of humor in it.
"C'mon, Sam. What did he say?" Janet persisted.
"Well, if you must know, when you said that I'd like some time alone, he gave you a raspberry...a juicy one too!" Sam laughed.
Janet looked stunned then started to giggle. "A raspberry? What is it, some kind of universal symbol?"
"Yeah, like the fickle finger..." Sam began to laugh louder. Janet's giggles gave way to laughter as well and they both had the swing rocking as they laughed.
Finally, after wiping tears away and gasping for air, Sam said, "I haven't laughed like that in a long, long time. That was fun..."
Janet's cheeks were damp as well while she tried to get her self-control back. "Yes, it was. And it's good to see you laugh again..."
"Janet, I know I haven't been...well, the last several months have been...they've been Hell! That...she took everything decent and wonderful in my life and twisted and perverted it! I fucking hate that...!"
"Sssh!" Janet whispered, placing her hand on Sam's arm. "She's dead. She can't hurt you anymore, Sam."
"Don't you see? She still is! She is still making my life a living hell!" Sam turned and Janet was not surprised to see tears flowing down her cheeks.
"She destroyed everything! Even my love for..." Sam jumped up and ran off the porch down towards the lake.
"Sam!" Janet called as she dashed after the woman. "Sam, wait!"
Sam stopped at the edge of the water. She stooped and picked up a rock, then lobbed it into the water. The splash seemed loud in the dusky silence.
Janet came up behind her and whispered, "Sam?" Sam turned and grabbed Janet, crying quietly on the doctor's shoulder. Janet made calming shushing sounds and stroked the back of Sam's head with one hand and held the quivering body with her other arm.
"I'm sorry, Janet," Sam finally managed to say.
"Nothing to be sorry for," Janet said. "You needed that. I'm just glad I was here for you."
Sam snorted as she wiped her eyes, "Yeah, just think if I broke down in front of the colonel or Hammond..."
Janet smiled, "Oh, I don't know, I think they'd be pretty understanding..."
Sam smiled her disbelief. "Somehow I don't see Jack as the comforting type. Daniel maybe but not Jack."
"Sam, if you ever want to talk..."
"Thanks, Janet. I guess I haven't completely ruined our friendship." Sam looked away down the lake and spied a figure coming up the path, "Hey, here comes Cass. I don't want her to see me like this..."
"Like what? Human? Sam, she won't care," Janet said.
Sam waved as she headed to the cabin to wash her face before seeing her young friend. Janet walked a little more slowly and met Cass as she got to the porch of the cabin.
"He-ey! Did you have fun?" Janet asked.
Cassie nodded enthusiastically, "Oh yeah, we had a blast! Can I meet them tomorrow? We were talking about renting paddle boats and... Well, can I?"
Janet lightly brushed a stray lock of hair off the teenager's forehead, "Sure. I don't see why not."
"Cass, Sam started to talk about being...well, about things. She's hurting now. And she doesn't want you to see her that way." Janet saw the alarmed look cross Cass' face briefly as she paused. "Well, just kind of take it easy tonight. Okay?"
Cass nodded, "Sure. I'll do anything I can to help her. I really hate whatever happened to her."
Janet looked at her daughter, "Me too, hon. Me too."
That night, Sam, Janet, and Cassie played spades for a couple of hours. The second time Cassie dropped her head and her hand forcing a redeal, Janet called the game off.
She and Sam sat on the couch for a short while after Cassie went into the room she shared with Janet and turned in. They sat quietly for a long time before Sam finally spoke.
"Janet, about earlier this evening..."
"Ssh, Sam. It's okay. And I meant what I said about helping anyway I can. I mean it, Sam," Janet said earnestly.
Sam stood, looked at Janet and simply said, "I know." She didn't think she could say anything more without tears falling. God, did she miss this woman!
Instead of facing that realization, Sam retreated into herself and said, "Well, I'm tired. Think I'll turn in."
"Turn into what?" Janet teased.
"Ha ha!" Sam said. "Good night, Janet."
"Good night, Hon."
As Sam closed the door to her room, she finally let the tears flow. Her entire body shook as she silently sobbed in her pain and anguish.
For the rest of their getaway, Sam and Janet never talked about the problem Sam was having or the pain she constantly felt. Janet often thought about bringing it up but after a couple of tries, she decided to let Sam open the discussion.
Their last full day at the lake, Sam and Cassie went hiking in the hills above the cabin. Janet knew that Cass wanted to spend time alone with Sam, so she made excuses and spent the day at the cabin, getting it ready to be closed up the next morning.
As Sam and Cassie walked through the tall trees along well-trodden paths, they didn't say much. They both were enjoying the relative silence of the forest. The sun came through the branches creating patches of light and dark around them. The sound of birdsong was a constant background music for their walk.
Finally, when they stopped to rest on a small ridge, Cassie commented on the view as she looked towards the east.
"Wow! I bet I could see our house from here with your binoculars, Sam!"
"I don't know, Cass. Your house is a long way from here," Sam responded.
"It's your house too, Sam," Cassie said.
Sam smiled at her and shook her head, "No. It's yours and Janet's house. I don't belong there anymore."
Cassie grabbed Sam's hand, "No! You do belong there! Sam, I really miss you! I...We both do!"
"Cassie, you have no idea what I went through or what I did... How I betrayed you...betrayed Janet! I don't even belong with you here," Sam protested.
"No, Sam, don't say that! We both love you! The two of you are my whole family now. I want you back with us," Cassie said. Her lower lip began to quiver and tears started to fill her eyes.
"Cassie, I love you too. And I love Janet. But what I did and said was inexcusable. I don't deserve your love and I can't share my tainted love with you..."
"She cries every night, you know," Cassie said quietly. "She doesn't know that I hear her but I do. And it hurts me, Sam. Right here." Cassie placed a hand over her heart. "I don't want her to hurt anymore. I don't want to hurt anymore."
Sam couldn't look at her young friend. As she stared out towards the distant horizon, she finally said, "I don't want you hurt either. That's why I can't be..."
"Bullshit, Sam!" Cassie's harsh language caught Sam completely offguard. "Bullshit! You can! You're just scared! Well, the hell with you!"
Cassie ran down the trail, disappearing into the trees. Sam stood and plaintively called out, "Cass? Cassie?"
That night, dinner was eaten in silence. Sam didn't finish what was on her plate but simply walked out and sat on the porch swing. Janet's attempts at conversation fell flat and she finally gave up.
Cassie went to bed while Janet was cleaning up and cried until she fell asleep.
Janet stepped out onto the porch and tried to talk but Sam merely grunted replies and the doctor gave up and went to bed, her heart heavy. As she lay down, she began to cry as well.
Cassie woke up hearing her and went over to the other bed and hugged the woman who had taken her in. They fell asleep like that. At some point in the night, Cass returned to her bed.
Sam sat on the porch swing after Janet went back in. Tears silently flowed down her cheeks. She finally got up and crawled into bed where she stared into the darkness through the long, lonely hours.
* * * * * *
Edora was a lovely planet with a virtually untapped supply of naqahdah that the Terrans were hoping to utilize. With that in mind, SG-1 was on the world discussing trade relations with the inhabitants.
Sam was still a little surprised that SG-1 had been picked for this but the diplomatic SG units were involved with other races in sensitive discussions and could not be pulled away.
She was also amused by the way the apparent leader of the Edorans, a lovely brown-haired woman named Laira, was obviously taken with the colonel. Sam was amazed that Jack was so dense as to miss this interest on the woman's part.
While they were there, the planet drifted through a debris field and meteors began to streak across the sky as they had in past years. The native Edorans called it Fire Rain and legend had it that the balls of fire in the sky were their ancestors come to visit every year. This year though, the meteors began impacting the planet.
In the rush to try to evacuate as many Edorans as they could, Sam, Daniel, and Teal'c were at the Stargate and dived through before a large fireball struck the area near the Gate.
As the shock of their near-brush with death wore down, it was replaced by concern for Jack O'Neill. He was last seen heading for nearby caves with Laira to get her son and his girlfriend. They never made it back to the Gate before the rest had to escape through it.
The fused rock at the Gate sight was oriented by the effects of the heat of the blast and the wormhole into a "natural" Stargate. The problem was that the Gate opened into solid rock. Sam theorized that a particle beam could create an opening into the rock that would allow the backwash of the wormhole to form a chamber. This chamber could be used by someone to try to dig the rest of the way out to the surface.
After getting the go-ahead from General Hammond, Sam threw herself into the work. She began by collecting all the information she could on particle beams and beam projectors. Then she began to design and redesign an actual working particle beam.
Sam worked herself to exhaustion every night. Then she was up before the sun even touched the mountain's surface and back at her computer. The woman was driven by the need to try to save a lost teammate and a friend.
Janet saw Sam's obsession with her project and began to grow concerned. As time passed, her fears only grew. The scientist was working herself too hard and Janet was afraid she could suffer a nervous breakdown.
Almost every night before leaving the SGC for home, Janet would check in with Sam, always admonishing the woman to get some rest. Sam always agreed to that and rarely obeyed.
At one point, almost a month after the lose of the Gate and O'Neill, Janet stopped in Sam's lab with a fresh cup of coffee.
"Working through the night again?" Janet asked as she leaned on the table next to Sam, quietly regarding that lovely profile.
"Yeah," Sam responded. "A lot of work to do." Sam glanced at the cup of coffee Janet set next to her workstation and smiled at the doctor, "Thank you."
As Sam turned back to the schematic, Janet said, "Look, Sam, there's no doubt you're going to solve this. You just have to accept the fact that it's going to take time."
"You know, if I think that way, it'll take months," Sam responded with the barest trace of irritation in her voice.
Undeterred, Janet pressed ahead, "Daniel says the Tollan can have a ship in the area of Edora sometime next year..."
With a slight shake of her head, Sam said, "He shouldn't have to wait that long."
Fearing the answer she was sure would follow her next question, she phrased it as a statement, "You miss him."
"Is this a problem?" Janet asked, keeping her own fears buried.
"No, course not."
Janet stood up, "Okay. Night."
Sam barely looked up as she said, "Night."
Janet paused in front of a bank of computers and looked back at the woman she loved and now believed she had lost. Finally, after several long moments, she turned and left the lab.
* * * * * *
Finally, over three months after the lose of Jack O'Neill, Sam's particle beam projector was ready. To no one's surprise, Teal'c volunteered to go through the Stargate and finish the job of digging through to the surface.
After Teal'c went through the Gate, the support teams belatedly realized they should have supplied him with a tank of compressed air to use when the air in the chamber became too toxic to breathe.
Fortunately, that turned out not to be a problem. Teal'c poked through and saw Jack's face through the hole in the fused soil.
The refugees from Edora were reunited with their loved ones who had survived the Fire Rain. As SG-1 was reunited, Jack looked at Sam and very quietly said, "I don't know whether to thank you or not."
Sam was upset by his comment and it showed on her face. Jack glanced towards Laira who was embracing an old friend she thought lost. Sam caught on and said, "Oh, I see."
SG-1 was preparing to escort Jack O'Neill back to Earth as Jack embraced Laira tightly, as lovers do. Sam stood there and stared with a pained expression on her face. Those around attributed it to her losing Jack to another woman.
Janet also came through the Gate to check on the survivors. She saw the painful words between Sam and Jack and then the look on Sam's face as Jack embraced Laira. 'Oh God, please not this! Don't let me loose her!' she prayed quietly, misinterpreting the scene as so many others did.
Later, Janet, who had stayed on Edora to finish checking the survivors, sat down with Laira and asked, "Who's the father?"
Laira's answer confirmed Janet's belief. "Jack."
"Does he know?" Janet asked.
"No. I didn't want him to feel he had to stay here. I want him here but I want it to be his choice," Laira said.
Janet nodded, "I see."
"Please don't tell him. I want to be the one when he returns for the negotiations," Laira pleaded.
Patting the woman's arm, Janet smiled and said, "My lips are sealed."
Janet returned to Earth and checked in on her patient, Jack O'Neill, in his on-base quarters. "Colonel, I guess you're happy to be back?" Jack grunted. "You are, aren't you?"
"I guess so," he said grudgingly.
"Is it Laira?"
"Doc, no offense but mind your own damned business!" Jack snarled as he stared at the floor.
"Okay, Colonel," Janet said, not bothering to hide her anger. "But before I go, Sam worked hard on the particle beam. Have you bothered to even thank her?"
"No! I haven't gotten around to it yet. Now, Doc, can you please just leave me alone?"
"Very well, Colonel. I'm out of here," Janet said as she left Jack's quarters. 'Great. I think I just planted seed of gratitude and now they will get together and...Stop it, Janet! It'll never happen,' she told herself.
'Just like you would never share Sam's love?' she asked herself.
"Stop it!" she said aloud. Fortunately the corridor was empty and she went on to the Med Center.
Sam was waiting for her in her office. "Sam! What are you doing here?"
"Janet, I need to talk to you. But not here." Sam looked at her and Janet could see the pain in her eyes.
"Sure, honey. Why not come over to the house? Cassie would love to see you..."
Sam interrupted her, "No. No she wouldn't. She hates me and I don't blame her." Sam hadn't even spoken to the teenager since that day in the mountains.
Janet went to her and placed her hands on Sam's shoulders. Looking into Sam's eyes, Janet told her, "Cassie doesn't hate you. She was very upset, she told me all about it. But she doesn't hate you. She thinks you hate her since you haven't bothered to even call her since this whole...thing with O'Neill started."
"She thinks I hate her? Oh God," Sam cried. "I never would... I never could hate her!"
"I know. And deep down I think Cassie knows it too. C'mon, I can leave these reports 'til later. Let's go," Janet urged.
Sam nodded and left with her friend and one-time lover.
Janet called the house on the way to let Cass know Sam was coming over. Cass sounded worried until Janet told her what Sam had said.
Sam pulled up in her beat up Chevy right behind Janet's Celica. "No bike?"
Sam gave a small smile, shaking her head, "No. Siler is working on the fuel system. Again."
"Sam!" Cassie cried as she leapt off the porch and into Sam's arms.
As they held each other, they both started speaking at once.
"Cassie, I'm sorry I haven't been around. I got so wrapped up..."
"Sam, I wish I never said those things to you. I'm so sorry..."
"Okay, okay. Let's take this little soap opera inside," Janet quipped as she blinked back some tears.
After almost a half hour of traded apologies, Sam and Cassie were back in sync. As they waited for dinner, they started playing the latest version of Turbo and it seemed to all three women as if the last six months never occurred.
Later, Cassie was upstairs with her homework. Sam and Janet were relaxing on the couch.
"Janet, I don't know where to start," Sam began. "I want...I need to have...Oh Christ!"
"Sam, it's okay. It's O'Neill, isn't it?" Sam stared at Janet blankly and the doctor continued, "You love, or maybe I should say, you have feelings for Jack O'Neill." Janet felt her heart hammering in her chest.
The next words Sam spoke brought a feeling of relief to Janet unlike any since Cassie was saved.
"I don't love Jack, Janet. I do have feelings for him. But as a friend and a brother officer. Hell, he's like an immature older brother to me..." Sam paused and finally went on, "Janet, I love...I love you."
"And I love you, Sam. I haven't stopped loving you," Janet said quietly.
"Seeing Jack with Laira, I realized how empty my life has been since Hath...she took me and...how much I missed you and Cass. You two are more than my family, you're my whole reason for being, I think." Sam sat staring at her clenched hands as she said this.
"Sam, I have missed you too! And I want you back in our lives."
Sam shook her head, "But Janet, I don't know if that's possible. I still feel so ashamed of what she made me do and say..."
"Sam, that doesn't matter," Janet said as she took Sam's hand and squeezing it gently. "You weren't thinking for yourself. She had you drugged with her pheromones..."
"Doesn't matter, Janet. I know what I said and..."
Sam was silenced by Janet's fingers over her lips. "Sam, Cassie and I both love you. We want you back in our lives. Please?"
"Janet, even if I move back in, I don't think I could ever be...we could ever make..."
"Sam, that's not important. If we never make love again, we can still be together. My love for you goes far beyond sex. Your father, well Selmac really, told me what we have is G'straa. And I believe him."
Sam smiled, "Dad and I talked on our cruise too. I don't know about this G-straa stuff though."
"I do. We have shared dreams, Sam. The most wonderful was when we danced all night long," Janet smiled and began to hum "Miracles."
Sam cocked an eyebrow, "You had that dream too?" Janet nodded. "Holy Hannah!"
Sam sat quietly until Janet said, "Sam, move back in. If we are never intimate again, I will deal with it. Just so long as you are back... Can't you try?"
Sam glanced at Janet then looked deep into the doctor's warm, brown eyes. She hesitated then nodded with a smile. "I guess I can try, if you're willing to put up with a basket case."
Janet knew deep inside that she could and she definitely would.
* * * * * *
Six weeks later, Sam had moved back in with Janet and Cassie, and was sleeping in the guest room. She had an odd day off and spent it with her laptop working on a new astrophysical text while Cassie was in school and Janet was in the Mountain.
The squeal of tires in the driveway startled Sam. While she sat indecisively, the front door slammed open and Janet ran in, "Sam! You'll never guess!"
Laughing at the happy woman racing into the house, Sam asked, "What happened? Is everything okay? You're home so early...you look..."
Janet grabbed Sam in a bear hug and quickly kissed her on the mouth. Before Sam could react, Janet squealed and said, "I just got word. I'm getting promoted! I'm going to be a major! Major Doctor Janet Fraiser! I think I like that."
Sam squeezed the smaller woman in her arms, "Janet, that's wonderful! I'm so happy for you!"
Both women realized at virtually the same moment the position they were in. But neither one seemed in a hurry to break the embrace.
Sam stared at Janet, lost in the chocolatey warmth of her eyes. Janet was equally lost in the other's grey-blue eyes. Their heads slowly came together and they kissed.
Pulling back, Janet said, "I'm sorry, Sam! I should never have..."
Sam shut her up with another more passionate kiss before saying, "Janet, I don't know for sure but I think I want to try. Can we?"
Janet took Sam's hand and led her upstairs to the master bedroom. As they closed the door, Janet pulled a "Do Not Disturb" sign off Cassie's door and hung it on the door knob to her room. Sam snorted and rolled her eyes.
Inside, Sam stood uncertainly by the bed. When Janet turned, she felt a wave of sympathy for the woman before her. "Sam, we don't have to do this. I don't want you to think you have to..."
"Janet, I have to know! Please?"
Janet kissed her love and then began to slowly remove Sam's clothes, kissing the newly exposed skin as she came upon it. Sam felt goosebumps all over herself as forgotten thrills raced through her. "Oh God, Janet!"
Worried that she might have gone too far, Janet stopped and looked at Sam. The blonde looked at the smaller woman and whispered, "Please don't stop!"
Happily resuming her deliciously exciting chore, Janet soon had Sam's breasts bare. She leaned forward and began to nuzzle the soft mounds. She felt that wonderful softness in her mouth again and Janet's heart was singing.
As the brunette worshipped Sam's breasts, Sam stroked her fingers through the short brown hair. Her other hand gently grasped Janet's shoulder, as if to reassure herself that this was all real.
Janet continued to suckle one of Sam's breasts as she gently kneaded the other, flicking her thumb across the hard nipple. Her other hand slid down over the jeans-clad ass and pulled the tall blonde tightly to her.
Kneeling in front of Sam, Janet lightly kissed the bare skin of her taut stomach as the doctor opened the front of Sam's jeans. Pulling the pants and Sam's panties down, Janet stood and looked at what to her was the most beautiful thing in the world. "You are so lovely," Janet said.
"Lay down," she directed.
Sam lay back on the covers and looked at Janet with a combination of lust and fear in her eyes. Janet leaned over and brushed her lips with Sam's then said, "Are you sure?"
After a long moment, Sam smiled and said, "Yes, please. Janet, please show me that this is right and that it is as wonderful I as remember it used to be."
Janet tenderly and lovingly kissed the woman below her then trailed her fingers and her mouth the length of Sam's body. The warm, smooth skin beneath her lips was at once both new and familiar. The taste of Sam's sweat was salty-sweet to the young woman.
After causing small yips and eeps to come from Sam, Janet crawled up on the bed and knelt between Sam's legs. She lowered her face and began to bring sweet pleasure to the other woman.
After bringing Sam to the brink several times, Janet relented and allowed her to achieve release. The brunette savored every moment and every taste before crawling up and laying next to Sam.
Kissing Sam and sharing the flavor of the woman, Janet smiled and asked, "So? How was it?"
Pulling Janet to her and kissing the brown-eyed woman, Sam whispered, "Wonderful!" She kissed Janet again then said, "There's just one thing wrong..."
Janet worriedly searched Sam's eyes for pain or discomfort. Sam chuckled and, as if reading Janet's mind, said, "No, nothing like that." Tugging at the sky blue uniform blouse Janet was wearing, Sam went on, "You just have too much on."
They shared the task of removing Janet's clothing. It was manic and exciting. Then Sam said, "My turn."
The two women made love long into the afternoon. As they lay in each other's embrace, Sam looked at Janet and said, "Thank you."
"My pleasure," Janet replied.
"No, not that. But thank you for that too."
"Thank you for helping me bury Hathor and all that she tried to do to me... She lost after all," Sam muttered into Janet's hair.
"Sam, this is the first time you've mentioned her name since..."
"Since she assaulted me? Raped me?" Sam ended Janet's statement bitterly. "Yes, I guess I can finally put all that behind me."
"Don't worry, my love," Sam said in a more tender voice. "You and I are together again. That's all that matters now."
"I love you, Sam Carter," Janet whispered.
"I love you, Janet Fraiser," Sam replied.
* * * * * *
Cassie charged into the house when she saw Janet's car in the drive. Why was she home so early? Usually she was at the installation until long after school ended.
As Cass entered the house, she looked through the living room, dining room, and kitchen. Then she went into the family room and the garage. No one.
Stepping onto the deck, she found the backyard empty as well.
With a small, happy smile, Cassie went upstairs. Seeing the master bedroom door was closed she giggled with happiness. They were back together! She had her family back!
Then seeing the "Do Not Disturb" sign hanging on the door, the teenager rolled her eyes and muttered, "Grown-ups! Jeez!"
* * * * * *
The next week passed in giddy anticipation of Janet's promotion. Unfortunately, due to demands on the SGC, there was no ceremony like Sam had. Simply Janet, General Hammond and Sergeants Siler and Harriman gathered in the general's office.
Janet stood at attention as Hammond pinned the bronze oak leaves on her uniform jacket. "Congratulations, Doctor. Or should I say Major?" Hammond said with a twinkle in his eye.
"Thank you, sir." Janet gave him a crisp salute. She then returned the two sergeants' salutes and accepted their heart-felt congratulations.
Dismissing Harriman and Siler, Hammond gestured to one of the chairs in front of his desk, "Please, sit down, Major."
Janet sat gingerly and waited.
"Uh, I don't know what to say exactly or where to start... I gather you and Major Carter have ironed out any difficulties?" Hammond asked.
"Um, yes sir."
"Good. Doctor, this entire conversation is off the record. What passes between us is for you, Major Carter, and myself to know. No one else. Understood?"
Janet looked at her CO with a worm of fear in her gut.
"Jacob came to see me several months ago. He, or rather Selmac, explained the unique nature of your relationship with Major Carter."
"Sir?" Janet had hundreds of thoughts racing through her mind and could only mutter that single syllable.
"Don't worry, Doctor. As I said, this is off the record. Your career and Major Carter's is safe." Janet sat back with a barely audible sigh. "I don't begin to understand this relationship. I know it's the '90s but I'm just an old-fashioned ranch hand.
"Be that as it may, I made a promise to Jacob and to Selmac that I would not do anything to jeopardize your careers." Hammond smiled as he recalled the lame attempt at a threat Jacob used regarding Tok'ra assistance against the Goa'uld being withdrawn if Sam and Janet's personal life came into question.
"With that in mind Doctor, I must ask you to keep your relationship completely platonic while on duty. And try to keep it under wraps when you're off duty. I don't want Maybourne or the senator or anyone else getting wind of this and trying to blackmail either one of you. Or making waves in the DOD. Understood?"
"I believe so sir," Janet replied.
"Good. I plan to have this same conversation with Major Carter when SG-1 returns as well. That's all," Hammond stood and walked around his desk.
"Congratulations again Major. And, very much off the record, I hope you both are happy together," Hammond extended his hand.
Janet took it and said, "We are sir. Thank you."
As Janet started to walk out, Hammond cleared his throat, "Uh, Doctor, did Jacob say anything to you about...uh, about Germany?"
Trying not to smile, Janet lied, "No sir. Not a word." 'Nothing about you, General,' she didn't say.
Hammond relaxed and nodded to her. 'That damned polecat! He told her! He said he didn't but I saw the look on her face!'
Janet made her way to the Med Center thinking, "So George Hammond was involved with German hooker too!'
Happy laughter followed Janet down the corridor.
The End. (Finally!)