Summary: Rodney then stood akimbo and said firmly, "I am too a Ranger!"
Info: This is cracked fic and it's fussioned w/ a Kiddy show...can you guess which? Special thanks to: My daughter aka LittleSprite, for the cracked idea and to her first beta job! (Be gentle).
The Green Glob Men (GGM) were numerous, trying to invade the city once again, but to no avail. For before they could get far they were going to have to get through the city's protectors...the Power Rangers!
The Black Ranger did a smooth double flip landing perfectly on top of two of the GGMs, flattening them out of existence, while bring up his fists fast and smacking the two GGMs behind him, also defeating them in one shot; after all they were nothing but globs. He then crossed his arms and then pointed largely to his right. "Teyla, to your three!"
The White Ranger, having heard John's (Black Ranger) warning, turned to her three o'clock position and did a graceful sweep kick, knocking three GGMs into oblivion, then came up spinning, faster and faster that anything that came in reach got wiped out, thus ten more GGMs bit the dust.
The Red Ranger entered the battle swinging on a rope he'd found some where secured to a building, and kicked out three more GGMs into nothingness. He then leaped from the rope like a large child jumping from a swing and landed, not as gracefully as the Black Ranger, but well enough, to flatten two more.
"Ford!" the Black Ranger chided, as he saw the Red Ranger's entrance and wasn't impressed, as he almost blew it on the landing.
The Red Ranger crossed his arms and then dropped to one knee, arms outward, "I've got this!"
"No, I've got this," yelled the Yellow Ranger as she began a series of flips down the sidewalk taking out a GGM with each one. She totaled eight before she stopped in a perfect pose of wrists crossed hands open as if ready to do some karate.
"I'm Impressed, Elizabeth," a deep voice called out, just before the Green Ranger sauntered in, not bothering with fancy moves, just swinging his special sword in large exaggerated circles, taking out as many as five per a swing.
"Watch where you're swinging that thing," John said as he nicely dodged Ronon's blade and managed to take out three more GGMs in the process.
After five more minutes, the GGMs were gone, but not defeated. "What are going to do next?" the Yellow Ranger asked, striking a pose with each word.
"Take the battle to them, I'm thinking," the Black Ranger said, he too gave a pose as did the others as they agreed with him.
"You know, you all look like big dorks doing that!" Rodney shouted a he walked from behind a large dumpster having not participated in the fight. He was dressed in blue jeans and an oversized light blue button shirt and sneakers. All he needed was glasses and a pocket protector to make the look complete. "I mean have you guys seriously taken notice of what you're doing when you talk?" he asked, waving his arms in wide exaggerated motions. "It's stupid. I expected better of you, John."
The Rangers looked at Rodney, though with their face masks it was impossible to tell what they were thinking or feeling as you couldn't see. Then the others turned to the Black Ranger as he was the one addressed by name, for the one thing a Power Ranger was supposed to do, was keep their identity a secret.
"You should leave, this is no place for a civilian," the Black Ranger said as if ignoring the fact Rodney had addressed him by name. Yes, he was a co-worker, but that didn't mean he was privileged to know the full truth; sadly. "This is Power Ranger business."
"Which is why I'm here," Rodney said, shaking his head as if he couldn't believe he was having to explain this to these people.
The Red Ranger laughed, the Green snorted with humor. The Yellow folded her arms over her chest as if keeping herself from laughing. Only the Black and White had the grace to not laugh or smirk...well, as far as Rodney could tell. "Look, this place isn't safe," John tried again.
"No kidding and we're wasting time debating this. We can use the Prehistorictrons to deal with them while they're still reforming outside of the city," Rodney replied.
"Only a Ranger can use a Prehistorictron," Ford said, his arm automatically going out then up in front of him with a fist.
"It's got to be the suit," Rodney said, not believing how silly the others looked. "I mean, I have no compulsion to do...that," he pointed to the Red Ranger. "Which is why I don't wear the suit." Rodney then stood akimbo and said firmly, "I am too a Ranger!"
John knowing he wasn't going to get anywhere fast, used his transmodifier to get out of his suite and stood there dressed in all black; he knew it wasn't an accident he got chosen as the Black Ranger, as he had an obsession with the color and Johnny Cash. "Okay, Rodney, you convinced me you know about me and the Rangers, but you can't stay here, it isn't safe."
Rodney glared at John and stormed up to him. "Just because I don't want to wear a stupid suite and act like I'm SPASTIC, doesn't make me a 'civilian'!"
"Rodney," John tried again.
"I can prove it," Rodney snapped. He was about to do so, but seeing the doubt in John's eyes and hearing the snickers from a few others held off a bit longer. "I bet you not only am I Ranger and can prove it, but that my plan is perfect and will take out those guys quickly and efficiently."
"Rodney..." John tried again.
"Afraid?" Rodney taunted. "I thought Elizabeth was the YELLOW Ranger." Rodney ignored the protest from Weir or the unseen concerns as he just proved he knew her identity too.
"Fine, Rodney," John sighed. "But if you can't and quickly, then you will submit to a memory alteration. We can't have civilians knowing our true identity."
"Fine, but if I win....you," Rodney said, pointing at John. "Go on a date with me. That's dinner and a movie, of my choice...this Friday. Unless we get attacked again, in which case, it'll be the very next full night, agreed?"
John looked sad for a moment, not because he didn't want to go out with Rodney, but because he couldn't...he was the leader of the Power Rangers and that didn't leave a lot of free time, nor did he like lying about disappearing all the time. "Fine," John said as it was the quickest way to get this over with.
Rodney nodded and stepped back from the group and crossed his hands at the wrists before him, down low and closed his eyes. It took more willpower than people could imagine to not go into some bizarre pose as it really was the item or suit that cause them to move so stupidly, but Rodney was a genius and his mind could overcome anything with practice, and practice he did. He clamped his free hand over the wrist with his large watch and called out, "PREHISTORICTRON- SABER-TOOTH NOW!" Sadly, some things couldn't be overcome and still work.
As with all the Rangers' toys, the humongous Saber-tooth robotic cat came out of what seemed like nowhere at Rodney's call. Rodney instantly moved, giving into the sensation that flowed through his body and leaped to its front right paw, which tossed him skyward, and he landed on the outside on Saber-tooth's head, looking smug and proud. "WELL?" Rodney shouted down, then patted the large robotronic feline, and was the first Ranger in history to make it actually purr. After a few moments, he carefully, with the aid of his cat, slid back to the ground to stand before the other Rangers, folding his arms over his chest, raising his chin in smug satisfaction.
"You really are a Ranger," John grinned ear-to-ear as he beamed at Rodney. Then he dashed forward and hugged him and then kissed him. "We don't have to wait for Friday do we? I mean its Monday and I don't think I can wait four days."
"Um....ah sure," Rodney said, now off his game as he didn't expect this reaction from John. But then as he looked he could see John was very happy about the idea of him being part of the team and their date. "Yes...but first...." He nodded toward the outskirts of town.
"Yes, but...um, don't you need to change?" John said, as that was typical to using the Prehistorictrons, yet Rodney summoned his without doing so.
"A few modification. I don't even need to be inside; after all, my brain is way too valuable to be inside a large tin can getting knocked around." The sound of a little grrr, made Rodney turn immediately and pat Saber-tooth. "I meant the other things. You're special," he said sincerely.
"Did you just...talk to it?" the Green Ranger asked.
"I just said I made a few modifications, which we can discuss, latter. As it stands now, the enemy has just taken out the Miller's ranch, not that I won't miss the smell of their chicken ranch as I drive by, but that's not really the point now is it?" Rodney said.
"Alright, Rangers...Let's MOVE OUT!" John shouted, punching the air, the others but Rodney followed suit.
"Come on," Rodney said, grabbing John before he could change and with a bit of assistance from his cat, they were both taking off toward the outskirts of town.
"We should go," Teyla said.
"Wait a second," Ford said, actually scratching his helmet. "I thought Saber-tooth belonged to the Pink Ranger?"
THE END (Thank goodness I know)
Next: A Little Rock N Roll