Summary: Jack makes a New Year's resolution that Daniel believes will cause nothing but trouble.
Author Email: firstname.lastname@example.org (Feedback welcome)
Author Website: http://orrymain.com
Category: Slash, Humor, Romance, Established Relationship
Pairing: Jack/Daniel ... and it's all J/D
Season: Beyond the Series - January 1-4, 2013
Size: 12kb, ficlet
Written: January 4-5, March 16-18,21, 2015
Summary: Jack makes a New Year's resolution that Daniel believes will cause nothing but trouble.
Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers -- not mine, wish they were, especially Daniel, and Jack, too, but they aren't. A gal can dream though!
1) Sometimes, Jack and Daniel speak almost telepathically. Their "silent" words to each other are indicated by asterisks instead of quotes, such as **Jack, we can't.**
2) Silent, unspoken thoughts by various characters are indicated with ~ in front and behind them, such as ~Where am I?~
3) This fic was inspired by my favorite singer who tweeted some great lines about his New Year's resolution in 2015. I've borrowed the essence of some of those lines as the basis for this fic.
It was a few minutes before eleven in the morning and Daniel walked out of the master bath to see his husband staring at himself in the mirror.
The general wore a frown on his face as he stared at his shirtless body. His hands were firm against his abdomen. His pants were on, but the belt was not yet tightened. He was barefoot and his silver-gray hair was mussed from a hard night's sleep.
"Jack, what are you doing?"
"Am I fat?"
"Gawd," Daniel responded, relieved that his lover was being his mockingly vain self and there wasn't something more serious going on.
"I'm out of shape," Jack stated with a glare at his mirrored self.
"Babe, with twelve children and too many animals to count, I doubt you're that much out of shape," Daniel assured.
"See!" Jack accused, his left arm outstretched as he pointed at his husband.
"You just admitted I'm fat."
"I did not."
"Jack, let's not start," Daniel sighed. "I haven't even had my first coffee yet," he groaned as he walked to the dresser and pulled out a green turtleneck sweater. Seeing his Love's disapproving stare, Daniel rolled his eyes, shook his head, and put the green sweater back where he'd found it. Then he selected another warm pullover sweater, only it was blue. "Happy?"
The older man confirmed his pleasure with a nod, but lamented, "Except I'm fat. I need to get back in shape."
"You look great, Babe."
"Nope," Jack maintained. "It's January first, the beginning of a brand new year, and that's my resolution."
"Resolutions seldom work."
"This one will work. I'm getting back into shape, starting now," Jack contended, giving his husband a kiss before walking into the bathroom to freshen up for the official start to the day.
"Trouble," Daniel sighed. "This is gonna be trouble."
"Babe, the children are waiting," Daniel advised his lover as he entered the study.
"One sec," Jack responded.
Daniel walked behind Jack's desk to see what the man was looking at on the computer. He couldn't help but be curious. Jack wasn't a big computer person and for him to be online on a holiday just before a family outing was very unusual.
"Gyms?" Daniel queried in disbelief. "Jack, don't you think you're taking this a bit too far?"
"I've got flab."
"No, you don't!"
"Yes, I do."
"You do not."
"Jack, I love you, and I don't lie to you. You're not fat."
"I didn't say fat, I said I have flab."
"We both have flab. We're ... older."
"No excuse," Jack maintained. "This one," he said, having made his choice and writing down the information he needed to make contact.
"My husband, the nut."
"Don't you like nuts?" Jack asked with an uplift in his voice.
"I love nuts. I must since I'm married to one," Daniel quipped. Then he ordered, "Let's go," and exited the study.
Jack chuckled as he logged off the computer and prepared for a wonderful day with his family.
The next morning, Daniel yawned as he walked into the kitchen. He wondered how long Jack had been up since his side of the bed was cold to the touch when he'd arose. His pace slowed greatly as he caught sight of his general sitting at the table in the nook area.
"Eating," Jack answered without the question having been spoken.
"I can see that, but what are you eating?"
"I see that, but, uh, why?"
"I love pie."
"Jack, most of yesterday, all you could talk about was being flabby."
"I am flabby. I'm starting my new training regime," the general claimed.
"By eating pie?"
"Pecan pie," Jack answered as he took another bite. His mouth full, he added, "It's a nut. You like nuts, remember?"
"I'm married to a crazy man," Daniel retorted as he headed for his first cup of coffee for the day.
"I heard that," Jack mumbled as he continued to eat the pie.
"I don't care," the younger man sighed. "Coffee: I just need my coffee."
With a grin, the general focused on the pecan pie and its nutritional value as he perceived it.
The next morning, Jack headed for the gym he'd found in the online Yellow Pages the day before. He was immediately greeted by a trainer.
"How can I help you?"
"It's time to get back in shape," Jack responded. "What can you do for me?"
"We have all the latest fitness equipment to get anyone feeling and looking fine," the man responded. With a bit of a disapproving scowl, he asked, "What is that?"
"This?" Jack responded, holding out the item in his hand. "It's an almond croissant. Want a piece?"
"No, thank you. That's your breakfast?"
"No," Jack answered. "I had waffles, eggs, and ham for breakfast. This is just a snack."
"You must be an early riser," the gym worker stated since it was only 9a.m.
"Not today. I slept in."
"I definitely think we should discuss your dietary habits," the worker said.
The general stared at the man's huge biceps as he asked, "What's wrong with my dietary habits?"
"Look at your hand."
"It's a croissant, an almond croissant. Nuts are healthy."
"In my estimation, what you're ingesting is contains roughly a third of your daily cholesterol intake and probably over a third of your fat intake. It's not a healthy choice."
"There's protein in this."
"And there's sugar," the other man argued. "Odds are there's more sugar than protein in that thing. If I were you, I'd throw in the trash can," he suggested, nodding over towards the waste bin.
Defiantly, Jack glared for a moment and then, as the gym staffer watched, took a sip of his coffee and then another bite of his croissant.
"Show me what you've got," Jack demanded.
"If you say so, but something tells me it's not going to do any good."
~Plan B may be needed,~ Jack told himself as he followed the man in a quest to rid himself of unwanted flab.
"Are you out of your mind?" Daniel asked his soulmate that afternoon upon hearing Plan B.
"I didn't like his attitude," Jack stated strongly.
"Babe, when you go to the gym, you don't have to work out with anyone."
"A little extra help can help," the older man argued.
"Don't you think that walking into a gym with a croissant was a silly thing to do?"
Jack simply smiled, gave his Love a kiss, and headed to the game room to play with the children.
The following morning, Jack was whistling as he put on his new plush burgundy sweatshirt and pants, gifts from Daniel for Christmas.
Jack grinned, having heard the delightful sound from his Love.
"This is the reason why I put on the blue turtleneck for you yesterday," Daniel admitted with wanton eyes.
Laughing, Jack walked over and took his husband in his arms. For a minute, they simply gazed into each other's eyes. Then they kissed, tenderly and softly, like the plushness of Jack's outfit.
"I can't wait for our next date night," Daniel said with desire.
"It always gets so busy during the holidays."
"Twelve children will do that, but this Friday is ours."
"It's a date, Doctor Jackson."
The couple kissed again before breaking apart.
"Ah, by the way, why are you wearing that this morning?"
"Plan B, Danny."
"I nixed working out at that gym, but I contacted a personal trainer and we have a meeting in an hour."
"You do?" Daniel asked cautiously with a certain inflection that wasn't heard all that often.
"We do," Jack affirmed. ~Love it when he gets jealous, especially since he hates for me to know when he's jealous.~
"It's the flab, Daniel. It's gotta go." Jack walked over and kissed Daniel again. "I love you. Be back soon."
"I love you, too." The archaeologist watched his lover walk out of their bedroom. He sighed, thinking how much he loved the burgundy sweats on Jack. **And I'm not jealous.**
**Of course, you're not.**
Daniel groaned as he dismissed the entire conversation from his mind and went about his business for the morning.
Ninety minutes later, Jack returned home.
"I thought you'd be gone longer," Daniel remarked after greeting his husband.
"We had a difference of opinion."
"Right off the bat, we discussed nutrition. I began by asking him how much bacon I was allowed to eat."
"What's wrong with that?"
"I was asking about it per meal," Jack chuckled. "He didn't like that. He also didn't like the fact that I showed up with a box of Krispy Kremes."
"I offered to share."
Daniel chuckled and asked, "Jack, what are you doing?"
"Just having some fun."
"And I know exactly why you're doing it," the younger man claimed.
"Enlighten me," the general requested.
"It's a new year and another one where we're further away from the Stargate."
"I don't miss the Stargate."
"Maybe not, but you do miss terrorizing the new recruits," Daniel accused.
Jack slowly broke out into a low laugh as he admitted, "Maybe I do."
"So you find an excuse to pick on some other folks, just for a few days."
Jack took Daniel into his arms and commented, "You know me so well."
"I think I do, yes."
"When did you figure it out?"
"The gym. Babe, if you were really serious about getting into shape, there are two things that never would have happened."
Nodding, the archaeologist put forth, "First, you wouldn't have walked into a gym with an almond croissant. That's crazy and you know it. Second, you never would have walked into a gym in the first place. You're a general and you know how to *get in shape* when you need and/or want to. You'd go back to jogging or you'd use the gym at J-O or several other possibilities that wouldn't include time at a public one. It's just not you. Maybe you'd jog more, but to hire a personal trainer, I don't think so."
"I didn't really hassle anyone."
"I know. You were just a minor nuisance."
"Hey!" Jack expressed warily as he backed away a step or two from his husband.
"You just agreed I was fat."
"When did I do that?"
"A minute ago. You're agreeing that I need to get in shape."
"I never said anything of the kind," Daniel argued.
"You didn't say I didn't need to get in shape," Jack accused.
"Jack, get a grip."
"Gotcha!" Jack laughed, his grin huge. He pulled his husband into his arms once again and declared, "I love you, Angel, to the moon and the stars and back again."
"And I love you, forever and always."
Both Jack and Daniel knew they were both in good shape and just to prove it, plans for the day were altered. Instead of attending to professional business, they focused on personal business of the most intimate kind. For Jack and Daniel, that was the best way to stay in shape.
~~Finis - Finished - Done - The End - But is it ever Really?~~
Author's Note: Please feel free to email me with your comments or suggestions; constructive criticism, things you'd like to see, etc. A chronological listing of my universe is at http://orrymain.com